Food Waste

Uneaten food is a drain on both the environment and the economy.

Whilst the government is passing laws to make it illegal to allow food to go rotten, there is more we can do.

Our goal is to make all our food as bland as possible – this way no one will choose to eat one item of food over another, as they will all basically taste the same. People will no longer eat a tasty chocolate bar instead of a piece of broccoli, because the chocolate will also taste of broccoli.

The less food we waste, the fewer farmers we will need. Those farmers who are no longer required can go and do something more important, like working in a weapons factory.

Packaging

We know that a lot of plastic is used to package food.

That’s a bad thing. The plastic does not biodegrade, particularly Molvarian plastic which, like all Molvarian-made items, is stronger than any alternative product made anywhere else in the world. In this case, that’s not ideal.

This is why Molvaldi is committed to using less plastic in our packaging. Place your loose fruit and vegetables in paper bags. Squirt your toothpaste into a hipflask. Keep that petrol in a shoe.

If each of us does our part, we can improve the world.

Health

We want every Molvarian to be the fittest they can be.

This is why we’re making sure our customers do more exercise when they visit our stores.

Over the next five years we will:

• make stores larger and more spread out, meaning customers will need to walk further to complete their weekly shop;
• make shelves higher, meaning customers need to climb at least two metres to reach popular products;
• release rabid dogs at random intervals, meaning customers will expend more energy through the dual exercises of running and screaming.